Why a blog?

I give up, easily.
Anything. Everything.
Because of a lack of confidence.

People won't like me, laugh at me, think I'm stupid.
That is why my entire life I hid away, in dark clothes.
Black, dark blue or grey.
Anything to make me invisible.

I never used make-up in high school because I didn't know how.
My hair was always the same because I had no idea what to do with it (ponytail, tightly pulled back, in case you're curious).

When I was 18 I got married and I wanted a change.
I wanted the real me to come out.
But I still had no clue how.

At 26 I started this blog.
So that I wouldn't give up, wouldn't forget where I was going.

This is my journey, feel free to walk it with me, every step of the way.
All my failures, all my mistakes.
But also my winnings, my happy moments and my bliss.
I'll be honored to have you with me.


PersonalPosted by Fashiondisaster Tue, April 28, 2015 10:31:07
It's very rare,
And hard to find.
A true friend.

Somebody who sticks by you,
Has your back,
Takes care of you,
Picks you up,
Knows you,
And understands you.

I know a lot of people,
By face,
By name,
But rarely by heart.

Sometimes you think you have found one,
A true friend.
Someone who gets you,
But ends up hurting you,
And using the things you told them,
About you,
Personal things,
Against you.

They make you lose hope,
That there is someone out there,
Who will understand you,
And like you,
Just the way you are.
Without any intention to change you,
In any way.

They make you question,
Every new person you meet.
When it goes well,
It clicks,
You start wondering,
Is it just me?

You get insecure,
Look for confirmation,
That this time,
It's different.

They won't run away,
Won't betray you.

I found a friend,
Who keeps telling me,
He won't run,
Over and over.
No matter how many times I ask.

All I can think about,
Is how afraid I am,
Of losing him.

I should be my own best friend.
Assuring myself,
That I am good enough.
Kind enough.
Smart enough.

It's not the others that betrayed me,
Maybe I betrayed myself.
By looking for assurance in another person.
While everything I ever needed,
Was already there.
Inside of me.

I only need to find a way,
To let it come out.

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