Why a blog?

I give up, easily.
Anything. Everything.
Because of a lack of confidence.

People won't like me, laugh at me, think I'm stupid.
That is why my entire life I hid away, in dark clothes.
Black, dark blue or grey.
Anything to make me invisible.

I never used make-up in high school because I didn't know how.
My hair was always the same because I had no idea what to do with it (ponytail, tightly pulled back, in case you're curious).

When I was 18 I got married and I wanted a change.
I wanted the real me to come out.
But I still had no clue how.

At 26 I started this blog.
So that I wouldn't give up, wouldn't forget where I was going.

This is my journey, feel free to walk it with me, every step of the way.
All my failures, all my mistakes.
But also my winnings, my happy moments and my bliss.
I'll be honored to have you with me.


HomePosted by Fashiondisaster Wed, August 01, 2012 21:05:14
Hi everyone!

I haven't been posting new pictures for over a week now and I think I ow you an explanation.

We are finally cleaning our house!

This may sound stupid and you probably think: " so what, I clean my house every week" but with us, it's a bit different...

A few years ago, I moved in with my husband in quite a hurry, it was my 18th birthday and my family didn't approve of the relationship, what was very hard on us.

So I felt like I had no choice but to leave on my birthday ( there were other things that forced me to make that decision, but I'll tell that another time).

So, I moved in without clothes and just a few belongings, really not much...

You could think: "no problem, you go out and buy some right?"

Well, not really... I was 18, still going to school and soon after that I was pregnant with our son who is now 7, money was tight, very tight.

On top of that we had to deal with a few deaths in the family... (because we chose to have children so soon, our families came round again and started talking to us again without jelling and being mad) and my father in law said that maybe we could use some things from the aunt of my husband (who was 89 when she died), she had a great vintage house that was more than a 100 years old and so were her belongings, I fell in love with everything!

Even with her shoes, that were 2 sizes too small (!) but I took it all with me to our new house and we kept it all... in the garage...

My pregnancy wasn't very nice... Not to say a complete nightmare...

I wanted nothing else but sleeping and when I was hungry and craving for something, I got so sick when it was finally in front of me... I just couldn't stand the smell... My husband had to eat a lot of double meals at that time...

Anyway, our house didn't get the attention it deserved...

The walls in our living room were bright (way too bright!) orange, the hallway was white and grey (I hated it), our bedroom was bright bleu (like baby bleu) with an all-round banner-like thing that was decorated with chinese sings (do I need to say more?) and the baby room was bright green with a flower banner - thing... I don't want to think about the rest of the house anymore so I'm gonna save the other rooms in a very dark and tiny space of my brain that I'll never look at again, I hope...

So, now we are 7 years further from that time and our garage is still filled with stuff from that aunt... But that is not the worst... It has spread trough the house because in those years I found so many things that inspired me, moved me and taught me something about what I wanted to do with my life... And I am thankful for every little and big thing (it could be a book, a stuffed animal, jewelry, a bag,... Basically, anything you can think of) but now it is time to decide.

A time to decide who I am and what I want.

And last week we've been going trough a lot of things, reminiscing and reliving the past and it is so obvious now how some things worked and some things failed and it made me feel stronger.

Like I could decide what I wanted to keep in my life and what I could throw out.

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